It is progress!

I have been meaning to post for about a month. Every time I remember, I'm at work where I cannot access the site and then I forget at home... /headdesk

ANYWAY...

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!! I had a FitBit last year and my first way in with it was at 265 lbs. Well, I got my fancy smart watch and gave a friend my FitBit. So I stopped tracking in the app. We'll, my boyfriend picked up the Aria scale and over the last few months we've been monitoring our weight. His... Never changes. Mine however... Well, I've lost 20 pounds from that initial weight log. SO HAPPY! I've actually lost a bit over that, which is awesome too!

My goal is to be down to 235 by Phoenix Fan Fest in October. And I'm on my way to doing it!

As a side note, I cancelled my gym membership and I'm debating on some other options. My knee has been bugging me lately, but it seems to be getting better.

Here's to continued success! :D

Moving on

Today, I am feeling so much better.  Sunday and Monday were really low days for me.  However, I feel better now.  Not as much self pity.

I started taking the progesterone and the testosterone that was prescribed to me.  As well as Phentermine.  The Phentermine has helped a TON already.  I am not as hungry all the time, my energy level is up and I am not eating a lot either.  Which is what I wanted.

Taking a step in the right direction!

... And we're back!

Well hello there!

It's been a little while.  I have been meaning to come back, write up a new post, say hello and get this started again.

At the beginnng of the year, I joined a gym and have been going at least once a week since then.  Meeting with a personal trainer has helped to be consistent.  I finally went to the doctor and had my right knee looked at.  This week, I start a series of three shots to help with the swelling.  I've been going to Physical Therapy and it seems to be helping as well.  In March, I joined a Roller Derby, but with the busyness of the convention, I had to put that on hold.  I am hoping to start again once it cools off and it isn't as hot as Satan's butthole here.

Even with these things I have been doing, I have not lost any weight.  The only time I did is when I got sick at the convention with a really bad stomach bug and couldn't keep anything in for two days and I lost nine pounds.  Then I gained 7 right back.

To put it lightly... I am struggling.  Borderline depressed about it as well.

I started seeing a nutritionalist in hopes that maybe something was off.  Besides my hormones being crazy due to my birth control, I have a few other things to work on.

However... it all comes down to what I am consuming.  I have a sugar addiction, I love food and I am ALWAYS hungry.  Like, seriously, I could eat all the freaking time.  I have huge internal arguments about when and what to eat and I almost always lose.

It is getting harder, especially when I try to change my diet.  I do not want to get to the point of what my Uncle and my Dad went through; having a life scare to make me change all the bad habits and food addictions that I have.

But... I know I need to make these changes.  I know I need to eat differently, work out more and just be more attentive to what I am doing.  It... is... so... hard.  And stress does not help much.

I read these stories of these people who stayed strong for days, weeks, months, even years and I am like... HOW?!  How can you stay strong?  How do you resist?  Cheat days are out of the question for me because then I just cheat all the time.  Oh wait... brb.

Okay, back.  I made some broccoli for a snack tomorrow.

Le siiiiiiigh

So, here I am.  Struggling to eat, struggling with self control, struggling with energy and just not being fat anymore.

I am not sure how to move forward.  The long term goals I set at the beginning of the year completely fell through.

For now... I am going to take it a day at a time; a meal at a time; a decision at a time.

So... here's t trying again.  I am aiming for less food, better food and more effort.  Pokemon Go is helping with the more effort.  Been doing over 8000 steps a day since I started playing, trying to add an additional 2,000 for good measure.

I am going to start posting again in hopes that it will keep me driven and maybe help someone else as I go.

Thanks for listening all!

Discipline is choosing between what I want now and what I want most.

Smoothies

About two years ago I tried the Paleo diet.  I wanted to lose as much weight as I could and I lost 30 pounds.  One of the meals I ate was a smoothie for breakfast.  While delicious, it was a bit on the complicated side to make.  However, with the help of two friends, Stephanie and Matthew, I have started smoothies again in the morning.  They are delicious.  This morning I did Pineapple, banana, strawberry, Chia seeds, Chobani Vanilla Greek Yogurt and some ice and a bit of water to help with the blending process.  I gave half to my hunnies and then I added some Kale to mine.  Both of quite enjoyed them.  Last week I did blueberry, banana, chia seeds, water, ice and spinach.  That was delicious as well.  Water and Ice are added for texture (how thick or thin you want it).  

Lunch has consisted of salads.  When I did the paleo diet, I did salads every day and that seemed to help me get rid of fat quickly.  

I had a goal of dropping about 20 pounds by the time Phoenix Comicon came around, but we shall see if that happens being a month and half away.  That might be too aggressive.  However, I am starting a new schedule soon, so hopefully that will give me a bit more time to do things in the afternoon/evenings.  

It is all about moving forward, never giving up and ever surrendering!  Happy Monday all and have a great day!

Good morning all!

First, I wanted to share a story from Facebook.  It brought a tear to my eye and reminded me that working together, we can accomplish our goals!  http://bit.ly/OfficerHelpsRunner  Check out Asia Ford.  She has lost 217 pounds for her health and for her children.  An officer assisted her with her son across the finish line and she did it, she finished it!  Was a beautiful thing!  All we need is the willingness to help and great things can happen!

This weekend, I went for two walks.  Both were just shy of 3 miles each.  The first was on Saturday with Eric.  I ended up waking up super early on Sunday, so I decided I should do the same again and I did.  I am proud of myself.  However, my left ankle and right hip are not overly thrilled with me.  My knees however seemed to enjoy it.  Both mornings were gorgeous and sunny and I loved it.  My awesome friend Sean has sent me a few stretches to do for my ankle and shin to get pasts the pain I am having.  I have my ankle wrapped now as well.

Need be prepared for con!  I walked 42.7 miles last year, I can only imagine how many I will do this year... and I am so looking forward to it!  May pick up a few ankle braces though.  :P

Take care all!  Never give up... Never Surrender!

Epic failure!

Last month... was a failure.  *pouts*  *cries*  It is why I have not posted in a while.  :(  I realized about half way in that the only thing I was doing was portion control.  The ice cream I consumed, cookies and various other things were not what I should be doing.  I was not stressed or lonely or sad, I JUST LOVE FOOD!

So, in true form, I have decided to start again and this time with some follow through.  Hopefully anyway.  Sunday night I got back from a trip to California.  I went to the store and bought stuff to make eggs for breakfast, salads for lunch and chili for dinner.  I am pushing through this week  with minimal to no amounts of cheating.  We discussed taking a trip to Havasupai next year.  All of my friends have done it, and I REALLY want too.  However, at my weight, I could not do it without passing out.

I have a goal of being under 230 by the time Phoenix Comicon comes around.  That's ~20 pounds.  That's over 2 months away.  It is doable and I will do it, because gosh darn it, I need to stop cheating.  I can no longer blame it on hormones or being a girl, it is a choice that I make and I need to make better choices in my diet.  I am the only one that can fix it and be healthy.

Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.  Never give up, never surrender.  Onward to good things!

Food Sensitivity Test

When I first posted on my Facebook that I was doing a no carb/paleo diet, my friend Amy reached out to me.  She is a nutritionist for a local doctor and let me know what her office has to offer.  One of those things was a Food Sensitivity Test.  I have heard of such things in the past and have always been interested in doing one.  I know what foods effect me in what ways, but this was kind of an eye opener and something I am still working on understanding.  I have been going over the things on here and trying to think of meals I can make and still do no carbs.  It is tough, but I have a list so far!

This list is broken down into 4 categories, Severe, Moderate, Mild Intolerance and everything else that my body is fine with.

One of the big things on the test was gluten.  I, like most apparently, am severely intolerant to Gluten.  I love things that have gluten in them... bread, pasta, crackers and MANY other things.  I always feel sluggish, bloated, gassy and burpy after eating it and it makes sense now.  I do not have an allergy too, my body is just not fond of it.

Another was cow.  Not just beef, or milk, but the whole gosh darn cow.  I love me some streak and I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE a tall glass of cold milk and do NOT get me started on cheese.  I love cheese (I love lamp)  But again, like gluten, it slows me down, makes me tired, makes me gassy and bloated.  Milk more than beef and I love me some beef!

Another was Cayenne Pepper.  I bring this one up as more of a joke.  Heh!  My hunnies loves spicy foods.  So much.  I, on the other hand, like to be able to taste and feel with my face.  So, I saw this and told my hunnies that it meant no more spicy food!  He was not too thrilled.  Heh!

One I was not surprised at... chicken and eggs.  My body loves those and hell, I love them.  So I can keep them!

In the mild category are some of my favorite things; Avocados, basil, Black/green teas, Salmon, tomatoes, mahi mahi, honeydew, cucumber and cauliflower to name a few.  These I am supposed to only eat every few days.  I make no promises right now!  I am carb craving hard, taking these out might be hard too.  Heh!

I will post more as I go through it, but I am curious as to peoples thoughts.